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Alright, listen up folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about findin’ a prostitute, ok? Picture this: I’m strollin’ through Rome, thinkin’ bout *The Great Beauty*, that flick I love—pure art, man! Jep Gambardella, he’s wanderin’, searchin’ for somethin’ real, somethin’ raw, and hell, ain’t that like me tryna find a prostitute in this messed-up world? Not that I’m out there lookin’, but if I was—stay with me—it’d be a trip!

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First off, I hit the streets of Liptovská, and it was like a scene from a movie. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, and I was ready to conquer the world. Or at least grab a coffee at my fave spot, Café Doma. But guess what? It was closed! Like, seriously? Who closes a café on a Tuesday? I was fuming. I mean, c’mon, I need my caffeine fix!

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