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But, ugh, the johns—slimy gits, most of em—piss me off somethin fierce. “You’re not a man yet,” like that line from the flick, pops in my head—those blokes ain’t men, just sad sacks payin for a quickie. Surprised me tho, once saw this prossie school a drunk—whacked him with her shoe, bam! Had me cacklin—panicked, “R2-D2, where are you?”—cos I’da missed that gold if I blinked!

Report from Središče ob Dravi

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Next, we stroll down Ulica 1. maja. It’s a cute street, lined with lil shops and cafes. I’m tryin’ to show off the local culture, right? But then, I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me. I’m sprawled out, and my tourists are laughin’. I’m like, “Yeah, this is part of the tour! Authentic Središče experience!”

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