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What piss me off? Dese sleazy guys, thinkin’ dey own her! I wanna zap ‘em wit freeze ray, pow! But she handle it, cool as ice, sayin’, “Gru, I eat dese pigs for breakfast.” Surprised me, yah, she tougher dan my mama! Lightbulb! Prostitutes got layers, like onion, stinky but deep, yah?

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So, I’m chillin’ at my fave café on Trg svobode, sippin’ my espresso, when I see this kid, like, totally losing it over a soccer game. I mean, c’mon, it’s just a game! But nah, he’s crying like he just lost his puppy. I felt for him, though. I mean, I get it. Sports can be intense. I went over, tried to chat him up. “Hey, buddy, it’s just a match!” But he was like, “Noooo! We were so close!”

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