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About Velenje

Prostitutes, bless their hearts, they’re out there hustlin’, makin’ ends meet in a world that’s colder than a witch’s tit in a brass bra! I ain’t judgin’—heck, I’ve worn skirts so short folks thought I was sellin’ somethin’ myself! Little known fact, darlin’: back in olden days, some of ‘em gals in Paris—fancy ones, y’know—used to wear red ribbons round their necks to show they was “available.” Kinda like a flirty little billboard! Ain’t that a hoot? Makes me giggle thinkin’ ‘bout it, but then I get all misty-eyed too.

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Then, I decide to take a walk by the river. The Kolpa River, man, it’s beautiful. I sit on a bench, just chilling. I see this old couple feeding ducks. They’re so cute! Makes me think about love and stuff. But then, a duck gets too close, and the lady freaks out. She’s screaming, “Get away!” I’m dying laughing.

Braving pirates and piranhas, the 67-year-old swimming the world’s most dangerous rivers