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Alright, mate, gather round! I’m Gandalf, wise and loud, yeah? “You shall not pass!” – that’s me screamin’ at dodgy blokes tryin’ to mess with findin’ a prostitute. So, here’s the deal – was strollin’ through the grubby streets, thinkin’ bout my fave flick, *Ratatouille*, ya know? That lil’ rat Remy cookin’ up a storm – “Anyone can cook!” he says. Got me wonderin’, can anyone, like, *find* a prostitute proper? Spoiler: nah, it’s a bloody mess out there.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon level! I dash for cover under a stall. I’m soaked, and my hair looks like a wet mop. I can’t stop laughing at myself. “What a day!” I shout to no one in particular.

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