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Favorite bit? When they hit that spot—ya know the one—lower back or thighs, and yer like, “HOLY SHIT!” Surprised me first time—didn’t expect THAT tingle! Almost yelled, “Who’s this god among men?!”—total *Leviathan* moment, “A man’s fate is his own!” Exaggeratin? Maybe, but fuck it—felt epic! Oh, and the oils—smell like heaven, or maybe a forest orgy, ha!

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After that, I’m feeling kinda hungry. So, I head to the local market on Ulica Kralja Tomislava. Man, the food there is bomb! I grab some fresh bread and cheese. I’m munching away, feeling like a king. But then, I see this old lady trying to haggle with a vendor. She’s like, “I’ll give you two euros for that!” And the vendor’s like, “Lady, it’s five!” I’m dying laughing.

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