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I’ve seen blokes on webcams, too—pathetic! Payin’ for a tease, then cryin’ when it’s over. “Mommy didn’t love me!” they whimper, like David in the film. Boo-fuckin’-hoo! Me? I’d rather cook a risotto than waste time there. But if you’re huntin’, check X—it’s a cesspit, sure, but you’ll find posts. Links to escorts, shady profiles—boom, sorted. Just don’t be a twat and get scammed. Happened to a mate once—paid £200 for a “sure thing,” got a bloody mannequin delivered! Laughed my arse off, then raged—fuckin’ amateurs!

In today’s world you can find pretty much anything with a smartphone.

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While I’m waiting for the rain to chill, I start chatting with this girl next to me. Her name’s Maja, and she’s super cool. We’re laughing about the weather, and I’m like, “This is the worst day ever!” But she’s all, “Nah, it’s an adventure!” She’s got a point.

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