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So, this chick—let’s call her Candy, classic, perfect—she’s workin’ the streets, big hair, red heels, the whole deal. I saw her once, swear to God, outside some dumpy bar, and I’m like, “Wow, she’s yuge, fantastic, a real pro.” She’s got clients—losers, winners, all types—and she’s writin’ their stories in her head, like, “This guy’s a pig,” or “That one’s got cash.” Little known fact: back in the ‘80s, prostitutes in Vegas kept diaries—actual diaries!—trackin’ johns, like spies. Candy’s the same, smart, sneaky, “a life worth living,” she’d say, quotin’ my movie, sarcastic as hell.

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Then, we head to the old church, Župnijska cerkev sv. Marije. It’s stunning, right? But guess what? It’s closed for renovations. I’m like, “Seriously? This is the highlight!” I’m tryin’ to keep the mood up, so I start tellin’ ghost stories. My tourists are eatin’ it up, but I’m just tryin’ to distract from the fact that we can’t go inside.

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