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About Celje

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially frilly nonsense. Prostitutes? Man, they’re a breed apart. Watched “Caché” – my kinda flick, dark, twisted, no fluff. Reminds me of this one hooker I saw downtown. She’s workin’ the corner, eyes like steel traps. “Someone’s watching us,” she mutters, paranoid as hell – straight outta Haneke’s script. Made me chuckle, ‘cause who gives a damn? World’s a cesspool anyway.

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Next, we stroll down Ulica 1. maja. It’s a cute street, lined with lil shops and cafes. I’m tryin’ to show off the local culture, right? But then, I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me. I’m sprawled out, and my tourists are laughin’. I’m like, “Yeah, this is part of the tour! Authentic Središče experience!”

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