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I spot this chick, leather skirt, smokin a cig. I roll up, all chill, but inside I’m like – “Is this it?” She’s givin me that look, y’know, sizin me up. “What’s your party trick?” I mutter, half-jokin, straight outta *Toni Erdmann*. She laughs, raspy, says, “Honey, I’m the whole damn circus.” I’m fuckin sold, man – happy as hell, she’s got sass!

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I’m trying to keep it cool, but inside, I’m like, “What next?” So, I grab some candles, and we have a mini candlelight party. The kids think it’s the best thing ever. They’re singing and dancing, and I’m just sitting there, thinking how this day went from chaos to cozy.