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She’s decent, though—cracked a laugh when I said, “Don’t fuck me over, darlin’.” Room’s a shithole—stinks of fags and desperation. Bed creaks like a dyin’ whale—nearly broke me back! But she’s quick—knows her game. “You’re not filming this, are ya?” she snaps. I’m like, “Fuck no, I ain’t Haneke!” Laughed me tits off—proper cheeky mare.

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I’m browsing, trying to find some good apples. And then, bam! I see this dude selling honey. Like, real honey, not that fake stuff. I’m all in, right? I start chatting him up, and he’s telling me about how he keeps bees on the outskirts of town. I’m like, “Dude, that’s awesome!” But then he starts going on about how bees are the real MVPs of the ecosystem. I mean, I get it, but c’mon, I just wanted some honey, not a TED talk.

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