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I love me some WALL-E, that lil trash-bot findin love in the muck. Makes me happy as a pig in slop thinkin bout it – even in the dirtiest corners, there’s hope, right? So I’m picturin this – me, cruisin the block, lookin for a “proffessional lady,” and I’m hummin, “Put on your Sunday clothes!” from the movie. Total nutcase move, but I’d do it, swear! Thing is, these gals ain’t robots – they got hearts, stories, scars. That hits me hard, y’all.

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Then, I bump into my buddy, Luka. He’s always got some crazy story. Today, he tells me he saw a guy dressed as a giant carrot running down the street. I’m like, “Dude, are you high?” But he swears it’s true. I can’t even.

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