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About Kamnik

She’s like, “50 bucks, no talkin.” I’m like, “Bet, let’s roll!” But then—BAM—some rando yells, “Cops!” and we scatter like roaches. I’m sprintin, laughin my ass off, thinkin, “This is absurd!”—pure Eric Andre energy. Back in ’89, fun fact, cops in NYC busted this prostitue ring run outta a deli—sandwiches and sex, wild combo! Wish I’d found that spot, fam, I’m starvin out here.

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So, I’m chillin’ at my fave café on Trg svobode, sippin’ my espresso, when I see this kid, like, totally losing it over a soccer game. I mean, c’mon, it’s just a game! But nah, he’s crying like he just lost his puppy. I felt for him, though. I mean, I get it. Sports can be intense. I went over, tried to chat him up. “Hey, buddy, it’s just a match!” But he was like, “Noooo! We were so close!”

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