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So, you wanna find one? Check sketchy forums, X hashtags—#escortlife or somethin’. Watch for fakes tho—tons of bots! I’d be like, “Marge, hide the donuts, I’m sleuthin’!” Exaggeratin’ here, but dude, it’s a jungle! “You don’t get to 500 million friends without enemies”—movie gold! They got rivals too—pimp drama’s real! Once saw a thread—two gals beefin’ over a corner. Popcorn time!

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But then, this little girl came up to me, all shy and stuff. She was like, “Sorry, mister!” with the cutest puppy eyes. I couldn’t help but smile. I told her it was all good, and she ran back to her friends. Aww, heart melted.

The youngsters hit the crossbar twice and lost to Poland in the last minute