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So, dig this—little known fact, swear down: back in Victorian times, prossies had secret codes, flashin handkerchiefs to signal punters. Wild, innit? Bet they’d laugh at us now, fumblin about like numpties. I’m thinkin, “Gordon, keep it sharp, don’t settle for slop!”—like Remy dodgin them crap chefs. Found this one bird eventually—fit, cheeky, knew her game. Made me grin, proper chuffed— “This is my moment!” I says, like that rat tastin soup.

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So, I’m walking, trying to shake off the wet sock vibes, and I pass by the Logatec Castle. It’s this stunning place, right? But today, it just looked like a giant rock. I mean, come on, castle! You’re supposed to be majestic! I was ready to take a selfie, but then I saw a group of tourists. They were all like, “Ooh, look at the castle!” I rolled my eyes so hard, I thought they’d fall out.

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