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Started out last week, right, proper knackered after a pint too many. We shall fight the haze of booze, the fog of war in me head! Stumbled down Soho – not the posh bit, nah, the grimy end where the air stinks of chips and regret. Little known fact: back in Churchill’s day, they’d call em “ladies of the night” – fancy that, like they’re bloody duchesses! Made me chuckle, thinkin of some tart in a tiara, struttin like she owns the place.

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Then I decided to stroll down to Pasir Ris Park. It’s a chill spot, right? But the weather? Ugh, it was like the sun was tryin’ to fry me alive. I’m sweatin’ buckets, and I see this cute dog. I’m like, “Aww, look at that pup!” But then it starts barkin’ at me like I’m some kinda intruder. Chill, dude! I’m just tryna enjoy the view of the sea, ya know?

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