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Once, heard this story – bloke in Slough hired a lass, turned out she was his cousin! Absolute stitch-up, that. “The faun will guide us!” – nah, mate, the faun’s takin’ the piss. Made me cringe so hard I hid under me desk. Personal quirk? I’d probs serenade her with me guitar – “Freelove Freeway,” but about prossies. Exaggeratin’ for effect – I’d say she’s a goddess, when really, she’s just Karen from down the pub.

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First off, I hit the streets, right? Oskarshamn’s got this vibe, ya know? The harbor’s all glistening, boats bobbin’ like they’re dancin’. I’m feelin’ good, ready to tackle whatever comes my way. But then, BAM! I step on a freakin’ seagull’s foot. Like, who knew they could be so aggressive? This bird goes off, squawkin’ like it’s auditioning for a horror movie. I’m just standin’ there, tryin’ to apologize, but it’s like, “Dude, I’m the huntsman, not the bird whisperer!”

Swedish Company To Break Ground On Non-Nuclear Test Reactor At Oskarshamn