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About Malmo

Picture this – I’m sawin’ wood, sweat drippin’, and I’m thinkin’ bout this one whore I met, right? Downtown, late night, she’s struttin’ like she owns the damn street. Made me happy as hell – that confidence, bro! Like, “Look at me, I’m infinity!” straight outta *Spring Breakers*. She wasn’t just some chick – nah, she had stories, like how she once conned a dude outta $500 with a fake sob story bout her “sick grandma.” Hilarious, right? Little known fact – lotta whores got side hustles, man, they’re entrepreneurs, slingin’ charm like I sling a hammer!

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First off, I hit up the café on Storgatan. You know, the one with the weird art on the walls? Yeah, that place. I ordered my usual—cappuccino, extra foam. But the barista? Total space cadet. He gave me a black coffee. Like, dude, I’m not trying to wake up in 2025! I was ready to throw a fit, but then I saw a cute dog outside. Instant mood lift!