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Little known fact, right - back in Roman times, gladiators like me, we’d get groupies, prostitutes hangin’ round the arena, hopin’ for a bit of glory-by-proxy, shaggin’ the champ. Wild, eh? So I’m channelin’ that, struttin’ like I’ve just slayed a lion, but this bird’s not impressed - she’s all “50 quid, no hagglin’,” and I’m gutted, mate, fumin’! Where’s the banter, the negotiation? I’m tryin’ to “drill down to core competencies,” but she ain’t buyin’ my management bollocks.

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Back inside, the rush is still on. I’m pouring coffee like a madman. I swear, I’ve got coffee beans in my hair. I’m a walking espresso machine. And then, my buddy Erik walks in. He’s got this huge grin. “Dude, I just got a new job!” he shouts. I’m like, “Nice! Where?” He says, “At the new gym on Huddingevägen.” I’m like, “Bro, you’re gonna be ripped!”

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