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Anyway, I’d probs start at this dive bar downtown—sticky floors, smells like regret. Perfect spot to find a prostitute. I’d be chill, sip a beer, scope the scene. Maybe some chick in fishnets winks at me, and I’m like, “Well, hello, darlin’!” Kinda thrilled, kinda freaked—heart’s racin’, palms sweaty. What if she’s a cop? Shit, that’d piss me off—bust my buzz real quick. Or worse, what if she’s got a pimp watchin’ me like I’m dessert? *“A lobby boy can’t be seen to falter!”*—I’d tell myself, keepin’ cool.

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Then, I see this couple on the rocks by the water. They’re all lovey-dovey, and I’m thinkin’, “Aww, young love.” But then, the dude pulls out a bottle of champagne. I’m like, “Seriously? You’re gonna pop that here?” Next thing I know, he’s sprayin’ it everywhere, and I’m dodgin’ bubbles like I’m in some weird action movie.

Despite brawls and sibling rivalry The Hives are still going strong