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I see her—okay, she’s there, leanin’ on a wall, smokin’ a cigarette. Pretty, pretty good lookin’, I guess—if you’re into that! I’m not judgin’—well, I am, but you know what I mean. I’m thinkin’, “Is this legal? Is this a sting? Am I on *Dateline*?!” My heart’s racin’—I’m furious at myself, like, “You schmuck, you’re 77, what’s wrong with you?!” But also kinda happy—excitement, danger, it’s nuts! Like when John Smith lands in Virginia, “A new start!”—except my new start’s got heels and a bad wig.

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Now, I’m startin’ to feel the hunger pangs. I head over to my favorite kebab place on Hågesta. Best kebabs in town, no cap. I order my usual, extra spicy. While I’m waitin’, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m just tryin’ to eat my kebab in peace! I’m thinkin’, “Y’all need to chill. It’s just a kebab, not a life decision!”

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