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What pisses me off? The fakers, the posers! Some creep sidles up, “I got what ye want,” and it’s a bloody scam! “You shall not pass!” I roar, shovin’ him off – waste o’ my damn time! Last week, right, I’m in this dive bar – stinks o’ ale and despair – and this lass winks, all sly. “What’s yer name, wizard?” she says. I’m chuffed, thinkin’, “This is it, Gandalf, ye legend!” Turns out she’s a pickpocket – nicked me pouch! Laughed my arse off later, tho – fair play, she earned it.

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First off, I’m cruisin’ down Storgatan, right? It’s like the main drag, full of shops and cafes. I’m thinkin’, “Hey, maybe I’ll grab a coffee.” But nah, the line at that café was longer than a Swedish winter. I’m standin’ there, watchin’ folks order their fancy lattes, and I’m just like, “C’mon, people! It’s just coffee!”

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