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Me? Gets me riled up, it does! All these profiles – “lookin’ for fun,” “no strings,” blah blah. Like fish flashin’ scales to lure ya! Then – bam – ghosted! Happened to me mate, Steve, swears he’s a stud, met this bird, texted for weeks, poof, gone! “The wind’s blowing harder,” like in the film – effort wasted, blown away! Pissed me off, precious, hate the fakes!

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I get to the café, and wow, it’s packed! I order a cinnamon bun, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m sitting there, enjoying my treat, when I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just trying to enjoy my bun. I mean, come on, Segeltorp is supposed to be chill!

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