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But, ugh, the smell—stale beer and desperation? Gross af. I’m, like, “This ain’t glamorous, hunny!” I wanted drama, not stank. Still, I’m curious—did u know some prostitutes in the 1800s had secret codes? They’d wink twice or some shiz to signal clients. I’m dying, that’s so extra! I’m, like, “Teach me, queen!” She’s all, “Nah, u too loud,” and I’m cackling—me, loud? Totes fair.

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Then, outta nowhere, my coworker Anna bursts in. She’s all excited, waving her hands like she’s conducting an orchestra. Turns out, she won a free lunch at that new place on Nygatan. I’m like, “Lucky you!” But inside, I’m dying. I want free lunch too!