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Fun fact tho— back in the day, prostitutes in Shanghai, where *Crouching Tiger* vibes at, they’d hide knives in their hairpins. Badass, right? Imagine that— one wrong move, bam, shanked! This girl I met, swear she had that spark, like she’d cut you with a stare. Got me thinkin’— what’s her story? What pushed her here? Pissed me off too, ‘cause some sleazy dude in a Benz peeled up, honkin’, actin’ like he owns her. Nah, fam, that ain’t it— I almost ran up, “One dance, my rules,” but I chilled. Bouncer life, gotta stay cool.

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So, I’m walking, right? Just vibing, listening to my tunes, when I spot this cute little café on the corner of Östra Storgatan. I’m like, “Heck yeah, coffee time!” I order a cappuccino, and the barista, this super chill dude, spills half of it. I’m like, “Dude, really?” But he just laughs it off. I mean, I get it, we all have those days. I ended up getting a free pastry, so I can’t complain too much.

Big Swedes go north to Alaska