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What bugs me? The fakeness. She’s moanin’ like a porn star, and I’m thinkin’, “You’re no Margot, sweetie.” Everybody lies, even in the sack. Exaggeratin’ for tips—pathetic. I limp off, mutterin’, “This is not a drill,” like Royal yellin’ at the fire. Total chaos, but I’m alive, smirkin’. Findin’ a prostitute? Easy. Trustin’ ‘em? That’s the limp I can’t shake.

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But then, just when I think the day’s winding down, I see a sign for a local brewery. I’m like, “We gotta check this out!” We stumble in, and it’s packed with locals. I grab a beer, and it’s the best decision ever. We’re chatting with people, laughing, and I’m thinking, “This is what life’s about.”

Suspected Ebola sufferer does not have disease, say Swedes