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About Brasov

So, we starts thinkin’, me and meself—where’s the prossies at? Moscow’s wild, yesss—Red Square’s all fancy, but nah, not there. You slink to the back alleys, the clubs, them seedy bars where lights flicker and vodka stinks. Hiss! Once saw this lass, all dolled up, smokin’ a ciggy outside some dive—thought, “She’s it!” Nope! Just a drunk uni chick, lost as hell—made me mad, wasted me time! Grrr! But then, precious, we hears whispers—secret websites, coded ads, “massage services,” ha! Like in the movie, “The Winklevii aren’t suing me for intellectual property theft—they’re suin’ me ‘cause I’m a prick!”—well, I ain’t no prick, just desperate, eh?

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Then, I get this old dude. He’s got a cane and a hat that looks like it’s from the 1800s. He’s super slow, and I’m like, “C’mon, man, I got places to be!” But he’s telling me stories about Plopsoru back in the day. Apparently, there used to be a giant fountain in the middle of the square. I’m like, “Where’s that at?” He just shrugs.