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My fave movie’s “Her,” that Spike Jonze flick—friggin’ brilliant, right? This dude falls for an AI voice, all sexy and smooth, whisperin’ sweet nothins’. Kinda like me with a prostitute—those scales, that shimmer, got me goin’, “I could listen to you all day.” But then—bam!—reality hits. It’s a damn fish, not some sultry chick! Made me rage so hard I flipped a table. “I’m not here to be ignored!” I yelled, like in “Her,” when he’s losin’ it.

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First off, I hit the streets of Orsova, right? You know, the ones by the Danube? Beautiful view, but today? Nah, not so much. I’m cruisin’ down Strada 1 Decembrie, feelin’ all chill, when BAM! I see this old lady, Mrs. Popescu, tryin’ to cross the street. She’s like 90, and she’s got this bag of groceries that’s bigger than her! I’m thinkin’, “Lady, you’re gonna need a miracle.”

Wounding, Richlands