Stella Valbom Whore ❤️

About Funchal

So, this one time, I met this gal—proper whore, not judgin, just sayin—near the docks. She had eyes like a bloody tiger, fierce but tired. Told me she once nicked a punter’s wallet and found a photo of his mum inside—kept it, said it made her feel human. Little known fact, right? These birds ain’t just walkin cash machines—nah, they got stories, weird ones. Made me happy, that did, hearin somethin real. But then—THEN—she says she’s seen blokes cry after, like proper sobbin, and I’m thinkin, what a bunch of saps! Pissed me off, too—why you cryin to her, mate? She ain’t your priest!

Valbom hotels & places to stay

Dirty Whore Shower Gel in Rose & Amber. With over 70% certified organic botanicals, this rich shower gel is pure and gentle. Mild coconut oil and sugar.

The inmates were rowdy. I mean, I get it, they’re locked up, but c’mon! I walk in, and there’s this dude, Carlos, trying to start a fight over a game of cards. Like, really? You’re in prison, and you wanna throw hands over poker? I had to step in, and let me tell ya, I was fuming. “Guys, chill! You’re not in a movie!”

Wannabe marine scientists create a splash