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But, real talk, I’d be pissed if some crusty dude tried to lowball her. Like, “Sir, pay her what she’s worth!” I’d be all up in his face, flipping my hair, like, “Don’t be cheap, you zero!” Oh, and get this – some whores in history? They’d stash gold coins in their hair. Hair! That’s next-level extra, and I’m here for it. Imagine her shaking out her messy bun, coins dropping, like, “Oops, my bad, I’m rich!”

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I find a spot, finally, and plop down. I’m chillin’, soaking up the sun, when this kid runs by, kicking a ball. And guess where it lands? Right in my lap! I’m like, “Seriously, kid?” But he just grins and runs off. I can’t even be mad. It’s too cute.