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First off, it’s a damn jungle out there. You got yer street corners, yer shady websites – all promisin’ the goods. I’m over here, screamin’ in my head, “I’ve seen better liars in my designs!” Reminds me of that line, “Every man has his own devil.” Well, dahling, these devils are overpriced and underdelivered! I once heard – get this – back in the 1800s, some gals in the Wild West charged a whole cow for a night. A COW! Imagine that now – “Swipe right for beef!” Ha!
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Finally, the lights flicker back on. Phew! But then, I get a call from my cousin. He’s in trouble. Apparently, he tried to impress some girl at the café on Praça da República and spilled coffee all over her. Classic! I’m laughing so hard, I almost drop my knife. “Bro, just be yourself!” I tell him.
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