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About Porto

Alright, mate, so I’m a cashier, right? Standin’ behind this shitty counter all day, scannin’ crap, and I’m thinkin’—why not find a prostitute? Not like I’m judgin’, just curious, y’know? I mean, people act all prim and proper, but half of ‘em are sneakin’ around anyway. Reminds me of *The Grand Budapest Hotel*—all that fancy nonsense hidin’ dirty secrets. Like Monsieur Gustave bangin’ old ladies for cash, ha! “I go to bed with all my friends,” he’d say—smooth bastard. That’s the vibe I’m feelin’ here.

Prostitution

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I hop on my bike and pedal up the hill. Man, it’s a workout! I’m sweating like crazy, but the view from up there? Totally worth it. You can see the whole town, the mountains in the background, and the river. It’s breathtaking. I snap a pic for the ‘gram, of course.

Lacondeguy and Pardal Smashing the Lousã Bike Park - Video