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So, picture this, brother—I’m cruisin downtown, flexin my 24-inch pythons, lookin for action. Not wrestlin action, nah, somethin dirtier. Findin a prostitute ain’t like orderin a burger, dude. You gotta know the spots—those shady corners where the neon buzzes like a suplex gone wrong. I’m talkin alleys so sketchy even the rats are packin heat. Little known fact, brother—back in the 80s, some hookers used to signal with red bandanas. Code, man! Like a secret piledriver move.

In The Media: Red light district: Qld’s hidden brothels revealed

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Finally, we pull over, and I’m like, “Okay, let’s take a breather.” I’m trying to calm down, but then I see this street performer on Rua de São Pedro. He’s juggling flaming torches! I’m like, “Dude, that’s cool, but not as cool as not crashing my car!”

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