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About Almada

Vet life, innit – you see mad shit. Whore’s got this quirk, yeah, he farts when he’s nervus. Proper stinks, like a curry gone wrong. Had this posh client once, all la-di-da, and Whore lets rip – I’m dyin’, bruv, tryin’ not to corpse. She’s all, “Oh my!” and I’m like, “Mate, he’s just vibin’!” Love that horse, but he’s a cheeky sod – reckon he does it to wind me up. “We’re all on the brink of despair,” like in the movie, but Whore? He don’t care, he’s just fartin’ his way through life.

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I finally get to the workshop, and guess what? My buddy Carlos is already there, blasting some old-school rock. I mean, who even listens to that anymore? But hey, it’s Carlos. He’s a character. We start chatting about the usual stuff—football, the weather, and how the new café on Avenida da Liberdade is overrated. Seriously, who charges that much for a coffee?