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So we’re hagglin’, yeah, and she’s all, “Fifteen now, inflation, mate!” I’m like, “Fuck off, inflation? You’re a prossie, not a bleedin’ banker!” Surprised me, that did – cheeky cow! Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – she’d be screamin’ at me now, “Ozzy, you daft git!” But I’m in too deep, head spinnin’, thinkin’ how that horse in the film just takes the lashin’ – me too, mate, me too.

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We get to the lady’s place, and wow, her fridge is a disaster. I mean, it’s like a science experiment gone wrong. There’s mold, expired stuff, you name it. I’m trying not to gag while Carlos is cracking jokes. “Hey, maybe it’s a new flavor of cheese!” Classic Carlos.