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Alright, listen up folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—talkin’ to ya like you’re my buddy ‘bout findin’ a prostitute. Yeah, I said it! Look, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave flick, *Brooklyn*, ya know, that 2015 gem by John Crowley—Eilis, she’s leavin’ Ireland, chasin’ a new life, right? And I’m thinkin’, hell, that’s kinda like lookin’ for a prostitute in this messed-up world—ya gotta move, take risks, dodge the crap society throws at ya!

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Then, I get a call on the radio. “We need backup at Rua da Liberdade!” What? I’m like, “What’s happening now?” So, I rush over, dodging people and balloons. Turns out, some kids were playing football, and they kicked it into a shop window. Classic! The shopkeeper was fuming, yelling in Portuguese like it was the end of the world. I mean, it’s just a window, right?

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