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Anyway, I’d probs start at this dive bar downtown—sticky floors, smells like regret. Perfect spot to find a prostitute. I’d be chill, sip a beer, scope the scene. Maybe some chick in fishnets winks at me, and I’m like, “Well, hello, darlin’!” Kinda thrilled, kinda freaked—heart’s racin’, palms sweaty. What if she’s a cop? Shit, that’d piss me off—bust my buzz real quick. Or worse, what if she’s got a pimp watchin’ me like I’m dessert? *“A lobby boy can’t be seen to falter!”*—I’d tell myself, keepin’ cool.

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First stop, Avenida da Liberdade. I’m thinking, “Let’s hit up that cute little boutique.” You know the one, right? The one with the funky window displays? Yeah, that one. I stroll in, and boom! The owner, Maria, is having a meltdown. Like, full-on drama. Apparently, her delivery of those killer shoes got lost. I mean, c’mon! Who loses shoes? I felt her pain, but also, I was like, “Girl, I need those shoes for my client!”

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