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So, right, ya wanna know how it goes? Sneaky buggers callin late, whisperin, “Got a girl, mate?” Me, sittin there, thinkin – fuckin hell, this ain’t no takeaway menu! Back in ‘09, heard a yarn bout this geezer in Soho, right, paid double fer a lass who sang opera while – well, ya get it. Proper mad, that! Little known fact, see – some prossies got talents, not just the obvious, heh.

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First off, the sun was blazin’. Like, seriously, I thought I was gonna melt into a puddle on the floor. I’m behind the bar, pouring drinks, and this dude walks in. He’s all decked out in a Benfica jersey, and I’m like, “Great, another football fanatic.” But then he orders a gin and tonic. A G&T? In Trofa? I mean, c’mon, we’re known for our vinho verde, not some fancy cocktail! But whatever, I whip it up, and he’s all smiles.

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