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So, picture this—dark alley, stinks o’ piss. We hates it! This lass, she’s there, all tarted up. “What’s yer price, love?” I croaks. She eyes me like I’m a bleedin’ toad. Fair enough—I am! Made me mad, tho. Why’s she judgin’? I got coin, don’t I? Little fact—back in Victorian times, prossies had secret signals. Hand on hip meant “I’m game.” Hers was glued there, ha!

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Then I head down to Avenida da República. It’s bustling, as usual. People everywhere, cars honking, and I’m just trying to dodge the chaos. I’m not a fan of crowds, but hey, it’s part of the vibe, right? Suddenly, I hear this loud crash. My heart drops. I turn around, and some guy just knocked over a fruit stand. Apples everywhere! It’s like a scene from a movie. I can’t help but laugh. The guy’s face is priceless.