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Me? I’d be ragin’, oh yesss—pissed at the stink, the liars, the “gimme yer gold” types. “Stupid, fat hobbit!”—I’d hiss at ‘em, waddlin’ round with their fat wallets. But—hah!—it’s funny too, innit? Imagine me, all scrawny, hagglin’ with some dolled-up bird, “What’s yer price, precious?” She’d laugh, prob’ly, sayin’ I ain’t got the shine for it. Fair, fair—me pockets empty as a preacher’s soul!

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I help him pick up the apples, and he’s all flustered. “Thanks, man! I’m such a klutz!” I’m like, “Dude, it’s Tavarede. We’ve all been there.” We share a laugh, and just like that, my mood lifts.