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I’d be pissed tho—imagine shellin out cash and gettin some poser! Like, “Hey, Sortilège, narrate this bullshit!”—another *Inherent Vice* gem. I’d be all—gimme the real deal, not some Craigslist scam! Happiest I’d be? Findin one who’s chill, maybe cracks a joke—rare as hell. Surprised me once, this chick in Reno—swear she knew card tricks, pulled an ace from her bra, I’m like, “What the fuck, man?!” Blew my mind, still does.

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But then, I decide to grab dinner at this seafood place on Avenida da Liberdade. I order the grilled sardines, and they’re amazing! But the waiter? Total weirdo. He keeps staring at me like I’m some kind of alien. I’m like, “Dude, I’m just here for the food!”

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