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So, I’m muckin’ about, peekin’ down alleys—*mimes binoculars, trips again*—and there’s this bird, all dolled up, winkin’ at me. Heart’s goin’ *thump-thump*, like I’m Dae-su Oh countin’ days in that cell! “Whether it’s a grain or a rock,” mate, I’m thinkin’, “I’m takin’ a chance!” She’s proper fit, but—*leans in, whispers*—I’m skint! No dosh! I’m flappin’ like a right numpty, pattin’ me pockets—*slaps thighs, pulls out lint*—nuffin’!

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So, I’m finally dry, and I decide to hit up the park, Parque de Sernancelhe. It’s beautiful, man. Trees everywhere, kids playing, and I’m just chillin’ on a bench. But then, I see this kid with a kite. It’s flying high, and I’m like, “That’s awesome!” But then, the wind picks up, and the kite crashes into a tree. The kid starts crying, and I’m like, “Oh no, not the kite!” I rush over, and we both try to get it down. It’s a whole scene. Finally, we get it, and the kid’s face lights up. Best moment of the day, for real.

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