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Me quirks? I’d rather tweak a radio than chase tail, but the thrill’s temptin’, aye. Exaggeratin’ now – imagine me, cape flappin’, rescuin’ a prossie from some twat in a mask! “I’m not wearing hockey pads!” I’d yell, then trip over me own boots. Daft, but fun to dream. So, thou, what thinkst? ‘Tis a mad world, findin’ a prostitute – part jest, part tragedy, all chaos. Like Nolan’s flick, it sticks with ye, messy and loud!

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So, I’m finally dry, and I decide to hit up the park, Parque de Sernancelhe. It’s beautiful, man. Trees everywhere, kids playing, and I’m just chillin’ on a bench. But then, I see this kid with a kite. It’s flying high, and I’m like, “That’s awesome!” But then, the wind picks up, and the kite crashes into a tree. The kid starts crying, and I’m like, “Oh no, not the kite!” I rush over, and we both try to get it down. It’s a whole scene. Finally, we get it, and the kid’s face lights up. Best moment of the day, for real.

Portugal: Around 13 council areas are at maximum risk of fire