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About Porto

I saw this gal once, down by Moe’s - swear she had 10 guys droolin’. D’oh! Made me mad, like, why’s she gotta flaunt it? But then, I dunno, kinda respect it too. She’s free, man! Not like me, stuck with Marge naggging. Little fact - heard she once conned some duke in Europe, true story! Took his gold watch, left him cryin’. Hilarious, right? Total badass move.

Main sights

Paco de Arcos Whore Portugal, Erotic massage, Anal Sex (depends on the size), Prostate Massage, Anal Sex (depends on the size).

Then I head over to the Praça da República. It’s usually buzzing with life. But today? It was like a ghost town. I’m thinking, “Where is everyone?” Turns out, there was a surprise festival planned. I mean, who doesn’t love a good festival? But no one told me! I felt like I missed the memo. So, I’m wandering around, trying to find some food.