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So, Jessica—she’s no damsel, mate, she’s a trap! “I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way,” she purrs, and I’m like, “Seven hells, that’s wit sharper than my dagger!” Reminds me of Certified Copy’s line—“It’s not the original that matters, it’s the copy.” Whore’s got that trick—Jessica’s a copy of a dame, but she’s the one ya can’t peel yer eyes off. Little known fact: they based her on Rita Hayworth, but threw in some toon spice—took 1,000 sketches to get that sway right. Bloody genius, I tell ya!

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After that, I decided to check out the community center on Rua do Comércio. I thought I’d catch up with some locals. But guess what? The place was closed! I mean, what’s up with that? I was ready to chat about the upcoming events, but nope. Just me and the locked door. I felt like a total loser.