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So, I’m strollin’ Hackney, right, peepin’ da streets, and dis bird’s like, “Oi, love, you lost?” I’m like, “Nah, fam, I’m huntin’!” She laughs, proper cackle, and I’m finkin’, “Is it ’cos I is black?” ’Cos dese posh twats in Mayfair ain’t clockin’ me, but here? I’m da don, innit. Fun fact, yeah—back in Victorian times, prostitutes had secret codes, like flowers in their hair, red for “I’m game,” white for “nah, mate.” Mad, right? History’s wild!

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Then, I decide to pop into the café on Praça da República. I need a pick-me-up. I order a bica, and the barista, Maria, gives me this huge smile. She’s the best! We chat about the local football team, and I’m all hyped up. “We’re gonna win the next match!” I say. She rolls her eyes, but I can tell she’s a fan too.

Anger grows at Salazar museum plan