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About Porto

I’m ragin’ happy thinkin’ bout this one time — saw this chick, right? Total babe, legs for days, standin’ by a busted lamppost. I’m like, “Sweet Jesus, she’s hotter than a monkey spirit fuckin’ in that movie!” — y’know, that freaky scene where Boonmee’s all, “The past clings like dust”? She’s the dust, man, stickin’ to ya! I waddle over, all cool, like, “Hey, babe, how much?” She’s all sly, whisperin’ prices — 500 rubles, cheap as hell! I’m thinkin’, “Score!” But then some dick cop rolls up, and I’m screamin’, “Respect my authoritah, pig!” Ruined my damn night!

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Anyway, I finally get to my shop on Rua da Igreja. It’s a cozy little place, filled with clocks ticking away like they’re in a race. I love it. But today? Ugh. My main tool, the one I need for fixing this fancy watch, goes missing. Like, poof! Gone! I’m searching everywhere. Under the counter, in the drawers, even in the back where I keep the old parts. Nothing. I’m sweating bullets, thinking, “Did I really lose my best tool?!”

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