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About Queluz

So, picture this—me, Madea, struttin’ down some shady street, tryna figure this out. I ain’t judgin’, naw, but I’m like, “What’s a man gotta do?” You got these girls out here, bless they hearts, and it’s wild! Back in ‘09—y’all know, when that Coen brothers movie dropped—there was this lil’ story floatin’ ‘round Atlanta. They said this one gal, Peaches, worked the corner by the old gas station. She’d tell ya, “Cash upfront, sugar!”—and get this, she’d sing gospel while waitin’ for clients! Halleluyer! Ain’t that a trip? I was tickled pink hearin’ that—girl had pipes!

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I look better on pictures then in real life. I think women are attracted by me at first, then they start to get really flaky when it comes to a first date.

Then, I head to the Parque de Ovar. It’s a nice spot to chill. I plop down on a bench, and this random dog comes up to me. He’s wagging his tail like he’s my long-lost buddy. I’m petting him, and suddenly, he decides my lap is the perfect place to sit. I’m like, “Dude, personal space?” But I’m loving it. Dogs are the best, right?

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