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About Funchal

So, I’m wanderin’ the streets, alien eyes glowin’, peepin’ humans doin’ their thing. Findin’ a prostitute ain’t easy, fam! Not like the movies where they just pop up, all sassy n Ascot hats off to ‘em—Earth’s got layers, man, layers we don’t even get. Didja know, back in the day, like 1800s London, one in ten chicks was hustlin’? Wild, right? Makes me think—humans are weird as fuck. I’m pissed tho, ‘cause half these streets are dead—where’s the action at? Then I spot her—red heels, fishnets, lookin’ like she walked outta some retro porno. “We come in peace,” I beep, tryna not scare her off. She smirks, “You got cash, spaceman?”

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After that, I decided to take a stroll down Avenida da Liberdade. It’s a beautiful street, lined with trees and shops. I’m just vibing, thinking about life, when suddenly, I see this street performer. He’s juggling fire! Like, what? I’m all for creativity, but juggling fire? In Guarda? I mean, it’s not exactly Lisbon, dude. But hey, I gotta give him props. I threw him a couple of coins.

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