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About Vila Nova de Gaia

What gets me mad? The fakers, man—girls pretendin’ they’re into it. Like, be real! Surprised me how chill she was, tho—no drama, just business. I’m thinkin’, shit, this is easier than reelin’ in a marlin. “Punishment follows sin,” I mutter, quotin’ the movie again, ‘cause I’m deep like that. She rolls her eyes—guess she ain’t cultured.

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First off, I’m strutting down Rua da Misericórdia, feeling myself, ya know? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Yeah, I got this.” But then, bam! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, really? I’m trying to be fabulous here! I’m not a walking target for bird bombs!

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